A couple weeks later I started my Junior year of high school and that's when everything seemed to change. I was taking Honors English and thats when I met him. This boy in my class I'd never seen before. His name was Cliff and I thought he was really cute right away. I instantly wanted to get to know him so I took the first chance I could at talking to him. We were assigned a worksheet that included stuff about the Ten Commandments and I knew NOTHING about them. I couldn't name the Ten Commandments if my life depended on it. So I casually started asking him questions about the assignmet, had him explain words, yadda yadda yadda. We got to talking and it was pretty comfortable. We started talking even more and when I realized he was a drama geek (like me) things seemed even better. Here was this boy who didn't seem like a jerk, (which was nice because I ALWAYS fell for the jerks!) he was smart, he was dorky, a drama geek, and he got along great with my friends. He went to the same school I did and there was so much to talk about since he was new to the school. It seemed perfect! And sadly, Guy started slipping from my mind...

It was a constant struggle with Cliff and I. From September to April we both knew that we liked each other but I wasn't the ONLY girl he was after...he couldn't decide if he liked me or Sara more... and I was BAFFLED! Why would you flirt with somebody and tell them you like her if you really couldn't decide who you wanted more?!?! And then Cliff made his decision...he asked out Sara. I was completely ticked off so I went to John's wrestling match to take my mind off it. The same night I got a phone call from Cliff. He told me he regretted asking Sara out and broke up with her the same day...I was ECSTATIC! But still...Cliff didn't ask me out.

It wasn't until April that Cliff FINALLY asked me out...I was the happiest girl in the world. He asked me on lunch at school. (Dorky, yes) But I had never had a boyfriend and I waited 16 years to declare that I was FINALLY taken. It felt great! Little did I know, Cliff would change a HUGE aspect of how I treated relationships...Cliff was what I would call over-religious and extremely over-protected...he made me cautious in the future and frustrated later on. We dated for three months until he broke up with me because I wasn't a Christian. It was so random...and I was SO mad he even bothered dating me if he'd planned on breaking up with me anyways.

Guy and I still weren't talking because I was working on getting over Cliff. I really cared for this boy who hurt me so bad. Months after we had broken up Cliff would tell Molly that he was still in love with me. He didn't make the break up easy. I was furious that he would say things like that and not care to be with me. I couldn't understand why it supposedly wasn't right to date me.

Eventually things went back to a normal pace in my life and things were great! It was when I was invited to a movie night that my life started to repeat history again...

Well it was some where around this time that I started to go to a christian school down in fondy. Life was pretty boring since Gal stopped talk to me. She never started a conversation or any thing. I thought she had finally gotten annoyed with me. No surprise there.

Since Gal started to fade a new light started to shimmer. Her name was lucy. She seemed so nice, and she seemed to actually notice me. which is a big change from any other girl I've meet, even Gal. She was my first dance. Shortly after I realize she was one of those girls who will act like she likes you to get some thing in return. In my case, free music. I felt stupid for being.... well stupid.

I didn't talk to many people at that school. I made friends with one of the guys who hangs out with the girls to get closer to the girls. amongst these girls was one named Jen. We never really hung out or any thing but we developed  our own relationship. It was a school agenda that we passed back and forth between us for an entire year. It had so much writing in it we couldn't read it any more and we had to get a new one. After a long time of that I decided to grow a pair and ask her out. I could feel my heart beat out of my chest as I walked to her. I got only 5 step away when she stood up and announced to the group of girls that Bob had just asked her to be his girlfriend. My gut lurched but I act like nothing happened. I sat down by her and dove into the conversation about the new couple with the group of girls.

Back down to no one. Every one I like was now seemingly ignoring me, "using" me or taken. awesome!

John and Dan were over one day when we decided to have a little movie night. John invited his girlfriend. His girlfriend invited Gal. I felt like that might get awkward, But that night was amazing.

Right around my 16th birthday was when Molly and I were starting to plan a rendevoux with Guy and Dan...I remember spending FOREVER picking out the perfect outfit and I took a lot of time to curl my hair...hey, I wanted to look good if I KNEW we were going to meet them!  So we decided to meet up at the park and just spend the day there together! So Molly and I departed to the park...

When we got there Guy and Dan had another friend with them, too! We were SO excited that our plan had worked and there was no John to get extremely ticked off at us! Hooray!

So right about when we first met we all went to the zoo. I distinctly remember Guy and Dan's friend had poked a huge bird with a long stick and it got really mad and flung all of its feathers out! Yeah...Molly and I weren't too impressed with that... After that, we all went to the playground and in the meantime everybody thought it would be funny to leave Guy and I by ourselves on the walk...I was so mad! I didn't know how to talk to boys at all and here Molly goes completely ditching me. Some best friend! However, we made small talk and it all turned out all right! Later on, we all were sitting down and talking and Guy had tried to show off and run after his friend...but in the process he slipped and fell on the ground! Talk about total first impression embarassment! Needless to say, it was a really fun day and it was just so surreal that Molly and I were able to say that we finally met them!

So after such a good day, you'd think we'd all continue to meet up and hang out right?

So wrong...

Dan and I were biking around oshkosh like always, when Dan got a call. He said a few words and then started to walk over to me with the phone pointed at my face. I knew Gal was on the other end. As we talk to made plans to meet at a park near the zoo. As Dan, rick and I rode up to our meeting spot I saw her. I was one of those times where you really dont want to look away but you know it's rude to stare. I didn't know if my gut could take this level of mixed feelings. I was shocked, nervous, happy, and scared all to the max. we only sat and talked there for a little while. then we went to the zoo. we walked around and made comments about the animals. I had know idea what to say. My fondest memory of that day was standing next to Gal and feeling a small pain on my hand from a mosquito. I quickly swatted it and looked up towards gal, who takes the saying: "I'd never hurt a fly" to a literal meaning. She looked wide eyed and had her mouth open. The only think i could think to say was, "Wasn't me" and I walked away.

After we went through the zoo we started to walk back to the park. on the way there every one walked a lot faster in attempt to make me and Gal alone. I tend to like the one on one thing a lot more then the small group thing so I was happy.

Things started to slow down a bit, we ran out of stuff to say and I started to feel awkward. I quickly made up the excuse that my mom wanted me home before a certain time, Dan caught on to what I was saying but rick was a little slower.

I couldn't stop thinking on the way back home though. I wanted to know what Gal thought.

I wish we would have kept hanging out.